The lazy days of summer?

A long school year has ended, a much anticipated summer break has begun, and I've already heard one of the most dreaded phrases a mother can hear - “I'm bored, Mom. What are we going to do today?”

Over the last nine months, school has kept kids occupied for over seven hours each weekday. Extracurricular activities accounted for even more of their time. Now each day stretches before them just waiting to be filled with what they hope will be one “awesome” activity after another.

But how should that time really be spent?

For those of us who experienced childhood some time ago (you know who you are) summertime really just meant a break from the routine of school. Vacations, camps, trips to the swimming pool – even a trip to get ice cream- were a treat, meaning they happened on occasion. In contrast, it seems that the expectation today's parents have for themselves is to deliver an action-packed smorgasbord of exciting and/or educational experiences for their kids. My mom put very little effort into arranging my summer days to make sure they were fun. That was largely my responsibility. I wonder why we've had this shift in just one generation and what that effect might be on our children.

It would be great if the result of giving kids more and more was that they appreciated what they had more and more. Unfortunately, sometimes the more we offer, the higher we set the bar for ourselves as parents to keep up. Instead of enjoying the current moment, kids are conditioned to ask “what's next?”

For each child, there is an optimum balance between scheduled “big fun” activity and complete free time and parents have the difficult task of figuring out what that is. It's easy to  assume that bigger is better, but I'm always surprised that the best memories my kids have had from past summers often don't include the “big ticket” items I thought they would enjoy most.

I suggest dialing down our kids' and our own expectations of what makes a great summer. Let's put less pressure on ourselves as parents to keep our kids busy and entertained and let them learn how to engage themselves. Not letting them find their own way out of boredom is doing them a disservice. (Besides, the more you do with your kids, the worse I look to mine.   This philosophy already isn't earning me any popularity points in my house.)

As parents, so much of our own pleasure comes from watching our kids have fun. But we don't need to focus solely on their experience. Summer is fleeting. Make sure you're enjoying it too.

Column originally appears in Current in Fishers http://currentinfishers.com/