In good company

Over the weeks I’ve written this column I’ve tried to present topical parenting issues and the different perspectives people have about them. Lately it’s occurred to me that although it may seem like many problems we face are unique to our current time, parents have really always had the same fundamental issues to grapple with. While it’s new territory for us, generations have been through this process. So, in that vein, here are some thoughts I’ve borrowed from parents past and present.

“Motherhood is like Albania – you can’t trust the description in the books, you have to go there.” – Marni Jackson

I read a lot of parenting books when I was pregnant. And I literally took every class the hospital offered on taking care of newborns. Then I re-read the books. Taking care of babies was still more overwhelming, more humbling and more joyful than I ever could have imagined. It’s an experience that can’t be conveyed, but going through it gives you a hundred kindred spirits.

“If you bungle raising your children, I don’t think whatever else you do well matters that much.” – Jackie Kennedy

This one does put the pressure on us, but I think it’s true. It keeps whatever competing areas you might have in your life in the proper perspective.

“A rich child often sits in a poor mother’s lap.” – Danish proverb

In our affluent area, it’s easy to feel like giving kids the latest computer game or Aeropostale shirt is a mandatory part of somehow showing them you care. I like this quote because it’s a reminder that the most valuable things we can give our children can’t be purchased.

“Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it.” – Harold S. Hulbert

We don’t always remember that children are not miniature adults. They’re new at this, too.  And even when they look grown up, they aren’t. They need our patience, acceptance and love even when we feel like our resources are depleted.

“A woman is like a tea bag – only in hot water do you realize how strong she is.” – Nancy Reagan

Sometimes it’s not until we’re tested as parents that we know what we can really handle. And you can be sure that our children are watching and learning from our method.

“The most important thing she’d learned over the years was that there was no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one.” – Jill Churchill

Enough said.

Column originally appears in Current in Fishers http://currentinfishers.com/