Staying "connected" through cell phones

Kids and cell phones. If ever there was a love/hate relationship for parents, this would have to be it.

On one hand, a child having a cell phone can be incredibly helpful. Aside from the obvious advantage of parents and kids being able to reach each other in an emergency, everyday situations arise that make having instant contact beneficial. If your child is lobbying for a phone, he or she will undoubtedly tout the many ways you will be able to stay connected. (Because that’s what every kid really wants a cell phone for – to have as much contact with their parents as possible, right?)

In reality, with all that cell phones are currently capable of, your child may really be using their phone for texting friends, taking photos, playing games and surfing the Internet. And kids may not be exaggerating when they claim “all their friends have them” when 75% of 12 to 17 year olds own cell phones (according to the Pew Internet and American Life Project, April 20, 2010.)

If you’re still holding out and your child doesn’t have a cell phone you may be thinking that sexting, cyber-bullying and other bad things kids do with their phones are thankfully off your radar. No phone, no problems. Unfortunately, even if your child doesn’t have their own phone, how other kids use theirs affects your child as well.

In situations where kids should be playing, talking or just hanging out –opportunities to enjoy someone’s company and develop social skills- a cell phone butts in with its snazzy ringtone alerting the owner that something potentially more interesting awaits. Conversation is interrupted; face to face interaction is disengaged. Sadly, a flesh and blood human being can’t always compete with such an advanced gadget. When one kid’s cell phone takes priority, both kids lose out.

It’s not just an issue of manners, either. Research indicates that when kids rely mainly on texting to communicate, they fail to develop basic conversational skills. Being able to read body language and facial expressions is hindered. Even maintaining eye contact is difficult. With no practice mastering these skills with their peers, and no apparent need to, they simply aren’t developing.

What does this mean for the kind of relationships our kids build with each other and with us? I’m a mom – I need warm, fuzzy moments. Emoticons don’t cut it. Will they be enough for future generations?

Column originally appears in Current in Fishers http://currentinfishers.com/