Presents versus presence

I remember the Christmas several years ago when my daughter had her heart set on accumulating as many “Littlest Pet Shop” houses, play sets, animals and accessories as possible. She had to have them. So we (and all the relatives) bought all the pink and purple plastic toys in bulk. Hasbro made out pretty well from our investment alone that year. Christmas morning, she opened her Littlest Pet Shop extravaganza and was thrilled.

The following year, if you had asked what she got the last Christmas, she couldn’t tell you. Completely forgotten. What she could tell you, in exact detail, were all the things we actually did as a family over the holiday. Building gingerbread houses. Baking gingerbread men to occupy the houses. Making ornaments for the tree. Seeing the lights at night in her pajamas with a cup of cocoa. Baking cookies with her grandparents. Watching our favorite holiday movies with a glass of eggnog. Even just watching the fire crackle with carols playing in the background. She remembered every single one of these small gestures of the season. The Littlest Pet Shop, in all its pastel plastic glory, was ultimately forgotten.

I have to remind myself every year that despite what the media would like me to believe, I don’t need to run around trying to find the perfect gift for my children to make the holiday special or meaningful. This season’s “must have” present is often next year’s garage sale item. Sure there have been favorite presents over the years, we have had our “Red Rider BB Gun” moments, but in general the “wow” factor of these gifts quickly fades. The best holiday memories we’ve had haven’t been a function of how much money I spent on the kids, but how much time I spent with them. My presence was more valuable than their presents.

Now, if even one small tradition is forgotten, my daughter is the first to let me know. I have a feeling that someday her children will be reminding her of all these things as well.

Column originally appears in Current in Fishers http://currentinfishers.com/