The new rules of competition

Competition begins early in life – and rightly so. There are many great lessons kids can learn from competing with their peers. They see that hard work and practice can lead to success. Fellow competitors can be respected and admired for their skill. Teammates feel the camaraderie of working towards a common goal. Finally, kids have an opportunity to learn humility by taking losses in stride and being a gracious loser.

Too bad the adults that kids see paraded on television every night on reality competition shows rarely display any of these admirable qualities. The endless list of programs like The Apprentice, American Idol, Survivor, Dance Moms and even Chopped and Cupcake Wars give credence to the worst possible approaches to competition. Here’s what kids learn from the adults on these types of shows:

Blatantly promote yourself

The first step as a competitor on a reality show is to tell everyone how great you are. Skill and talent are not a prerequisite, but overconfidence is. The more entitled you feel you are to win, the better. The point here is to get attention and outrageous claims get you more air time.  Winning may actually be a secondary goal; the primary thrill just having the spotlight focused on you. 

Trash talk your competition

The flip side of promoting yourself is, of course, to denigrate your competitors. Catty, immature remarks are expected here. Don’t worry about anything you say actually being true. Or hurting anyone’s feelings. If you happen to win, crank it up a notch. 

Throw your teammates under the bus

After you have developed relationships with people on your team, form “alliances” against them. Have fun voting them off and eliminating them. Do this secretly if you can. Or do this as a group so you can publicly humiliate your former “teammates.” 

Be a sore loser

Go for the “wow” factor here. Throw a huge fit with tantrums, tears - even physically destroy something if possible. Include one last tirade of how you were wronged by your competitors.  Don’t forget to include why you deserved to win.  

The only redeeming value I can see to kids watching reality competition shows is that it illustrates in full color, high definition what not to do. In this culture, I guess we’ll take our role models where we can.

Column originally appears in Current in Fishers http://currentinfishers.com/